Category Archives: Wesley Allen Wei

Wesley’s Impact

Wesley’s life, though short, greatly impacted tons of people. Not only did he impact our lives but he especially impacted the lives of our friends and family. We have receive so many comments in the last 24 hours that it is amazing. A friend of our family and one of my wife’s closest friend’s just posted on her blog how Wesley impacted her life. I encourage to go there and read it, “Five Minutes… Forever Impacted” (and you might need a cup of coffee because it’s pretty long).

We love this family and are excited that our little boy could have an impact in their life. Here is part of the post where she explains how Wesley taught her son the most important lesson of all.

“4. Wesley taught my son the most important lesson of all.

The day [they] left for China as missionaries, I believe around 6 weeks after Wesley’s birth. I decided to go visit his grave and take flowers in honor of his parents leaving for their new life. I took my kids with me. when we arrived at the Cemetery we had to walk past several others graves and then we arrived at where all the little babies were buried. Curiosity hit both Luke and Emilee because they had never spent much time at a cemetery. They started asking about ages, and causes of death. I could see the look of concern wash all over Luke’s face. He then asked me where all the people were now. This led to a series of questions, questions that lasted all the way home. When we got to the house after believing Luke had a clear understanding of Salvation, of Heaven and Hell and a understanding that only the saved people in those graves were in heaven, the lost were in hell, he bowed his head and said the sweetest prayer I have ever heard.

I am forever indebted to the little bitty guy I held in my arms a year ago. I cannot wait to thank him for so many things. But the most important one being that He showed my little guy the importance of figuring out where he would spend eternity.”

Source: acoffeybreak.com

Praise the Lord! When we first heard this last year, we were so excited! Another testimony of God’s grace!

It’s been a year…

It’s been a year today, May 27, 2010 at 6:35 AM, that our little baby boy was stillborn (Read the Story Here). It’s hard to believe that a year has passed. Our lives have changed so much since being in that hospital room, but it is something that we will never forget. Holding our little guy and then having to let him go. Seeing him in casket at the burial grounds and having to walk away, knowing I could do nothing, these are feelings that are hard to describe.

One of the things that I prayed and asked God for was that He would allow us just a few minutes with the Baby. Just to see his eyes open or see him smile, but that request was unaswered.

But as my wife stated “healing is here.” Those 100 days prior to his birth were filled with joy and sadness, not knowing what to expect. The days following were just as hard as, but there is healing. My wife, who has been incredible through it all, wrote the following on here blog:

“Over the last few months I have experienced such healing (both physically and mentally,) and this week (to me) signifies moving forward. It doesn’t mean my baby will be forgotten or that I won’t think of him or look at his beautiful pictures, but it does mean leaving the sorrow behind. This is the last sad season….there are no more “1st holidays” without him, no more “this time last year” scenarios, just moving forward.”

Click Here to Read The Whole Article

All of Welsey’s names are family names that are carried down except for “wei” which is Chinese meaing “power, strength.” We have definately grown stronger through his experience and despite many odds, he was a fighter to the end.

Wesley helped us grow stronger, not because we are strong willed people, but from the time that he entered our lives when we found out that my wife was expecting, through finding out their was a problem, we realize how weak we were. No matter what we did, we couldn’t fix the problem. But in our weakness we found strength! Because when we are weak, He is strong!

Where did we find strength? The person that helped us the most is Jesus. Because of our realtionship with Jesus we had the most compassionate and carring person in our lives. He carried us through. Trusting, relying, and giving it all to Him! Thank you Jesus!

Where we didn’t find strength? One thing that I noticed during this time is that my attention kept getting pulled away from true strength and healing. What was pulling us away was thinking that true comfort comes from, “one day you will see your baby in Heaven” and I hope I do, but I needed something more. Also, people would say something like “you’re baby is an angel now, getting his wings” or “God is playing baseball with your son.” I found there is no comfort in void promises unless I wanted to trust in the hollowness of the “Christian Bookstore Christianity.” But I didn’t, and my family didn’t, we needed something concrete, we needed the real thing.

What else brought healing? The grace of God and His word! It wasn’t a misleading view on heaven, but it was leaning on the fact that God loves us, God has a plan, Romans 8:28 “His purpose, His glory.” It was “I don’t have to understand or know why but I know God and I know He is good and all of His ways are good. As His Child, He doesn’t think evil against me.” It was Psalm 23, it was the example of Job and David. It was knowing that through this trial we might be able to help others. It’s “Gods Grace is sufficient…period!”

The support of friends, family, churches, partners, and so many…were also an encouragement to us. We knew that we were loved and had a great support team. Thank You for everything.

Today We will spend time together as a family and celebrate the time that we have together. There is still sadness, feelings, and hurt, but also healing and moving forward.

Wesley Allen Wei

On February 16th, 2010, we went to the Doctor to find out about our baby that we were expecting in 19 weeks. At that time, we learned that our baby had what is known as “Body Stalk Anomaly.” (Basically, all the organs from the mid-chest down developed outside the body and attached themselves to the placenta. This condition makes the baby incapable of living outside the womb.) My Wife and I both sat in the exam room crying as we were shocked and heart broken. We were both wanting a second child.

What to do? From what we understand today, many people choose to terminate their pregnancy once they find out their baby has a problem such as ours did. We knew and had settled long ago in our hearts that we wanted God to be honored with our lives and decisions. When my wife and I were married, she had a short phrase inscribed on the inside of my wedding band as a surprise. It says, “MAXIMUM GLORY.” Our desire as a couple and coming together in marriage was and is to bring God MAXIMUM GLORY with our lives, so we made a decision to continue the pregnancy. However, there was really no need to even verbalize it; we knew where each other stood. As stated in my original blog post on the news of our baby’s condition, we stated the following:

“The baby is currently living, and my wife will continue to carry the baby as long as it lives. We know the Lord is in control, and we will continue as normal to see what the Lord does….We will love this baby as long as it lives. We will tell it of it’s Creator and the love He has for us. We will tell it how it could soon be meeting Him….We are thankful that the Lord has given us this child. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD. As the baby lives we will praise the Lord for everyday He has allowed us to have it, and once it passes on, we will continue to praise the Lord!”

Our hearts were set on the Lord, and the next 100 days were filled with joy and sadness. Life went on as “normal”, but in the back of our minds, we knew every day that my wife carried the baby would be a day closer to saying goodbye. Many prayed for a miracle or that the doctor’s diagnosis would be wrong, but my wife and I would talk about it, and we both knew that it wasn’t the Lord’s will for our baby to be healed. We knew deep inside that our baby would die, and the Lord gave us a peace that passes all understanding. Eventually, even though it hurt and still hurts, we were ok with it.

As we continued to traveled on deputation, we would meet new people, and have to tell our story what seemed over and over again. Baby showers were canceled, we were no longer excited about buying, clothes, toys, etc. It was a waiting period. A time of sadness. We received much encouragement from friends, family, and churches.

Appointment after appointment, things never got better. After 14 weeks and two days of waiting, on Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 6:35 AM, our little baby boy was stillborn.

We were admitted into the hospital on Tuesday morning of that week. The day was full of hustle and bustle with family and friends visiting us in the hospital. By Wednesday evening, we had made very little progress in the inducing process, and at midnight chose to send everyone home to get some rest. Our midwife had told us there was too much activity, and we needed to focus on what was taking place. She suggested having some alone time. After everyone was gone, I kneeled down along side my wife’s bed, with my hands on her belly and talked to our little baby. I told him he would probably be meeting Jesus soon and that would be much better than meeting his earthly parents. I told him I loved him, and it was okay for him to go ahead and go. I was really hoping and praying inside that we would get to spend a few minutes with our baby alive. I prayed there by her bedside and gave Him up to the Lord, as I had done before. Then my wife and I laid in the bed together holding each other for a while.

The night went on, and my wife became more uncomfortable and sick throughout the rest of the night. Around 6:30 AM, she called the nurse because she was feeling pressure and the nurse informed us that the baby was on it’s way. I watched as our baby was born. The process was over in just a few minutes. Though our baby did not come out alive, we were thankful that my wife was healthy. There were many factors that could of been very dangerous for my wife’s health (I won’t go into detail here,) but all of those were dismissed as the Lord answered our prayers on her behalf.

The nurses took the baby and made him presentable. We found out it was a boy! Then we were able to hold our little guy. He weighed 3 lbs and 2 oz and was 11 inches long. We had a professional photographer take some pictures for us to remember and cherish in the future. Many friends and family came to visit and were able to hold him as well. We named him Wesley Allen Wei.

On Friday morning, my wife and I said our goodbyes. We had him brought to the room, had a short family devotion, told him the Gospel, even though by that time, he probably knew the whole story, and then gave him a kiss and sent him away. my wife was released that same morning.

On Saturday, we had a small private graveside service at 10 AM. The small casket was opened for a short time for family to view him. I took a quick minute to challenge those who have watched our lives over that past few months to see God’s hand of comfort and peace in our lives and for them to trust Him as their Lord and Savior, and not only that but also to live their lives completely sold out for Him. Then, my pastor, Austin Gardner, shared a quick message on how our faith has been tested and proven, it is worth more than gold, and passing the test brings praise, honor, and glory to Jesus. After the service was over, I gave little Wesley a kiss, telling him goodbye and that I loved him.

Now as I write this, it has been three days since he was buried. I guess I am compelled to write and tell you, 1) we are thankful that the Lord has given us this child. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD. As the baby lived we praised the Lord for everyday He allowed us to have him, and now that he has passed on, we are and will continue to praise the Lord! 2) We are not religious people or people of great faith but we serve a great God. Our hearts hurt and grieves for our little one, but the reason that we can have a peace and comfort that passes all understanding is because of who we have our faith in, Jesus Christ. We serve the only living and true God and have a relationship with Him through His Son.

Our hearts desire is that He will receive MAXIMUM GLORY, and as my wife so perfectly described it, we are on an “Amazing Journey.”

I want to say “Thank You!”

We have had so much encouragement and support over the past few months and the only thing I can do is say “thank you!” We have been overwhelmed by everyones love and care. I wouldn’t even know where to start if I was going to recognize every individual person for their willingness to serve and care for us during this time. So let me just say this…

Thank You God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. We have been able to come to God the Father through His Son in our time of trouble and need. We have been able to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. In times we didn’t know what to pray or even say, the Holy Spirit was there to make intercession for us. He was there to comfort and guide us along the way. We wouldn’t be able to know the Father and have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit if it wasn’t for Jesus. Thank you Jesus, my Savior, Lord, and Friend.

Thank You Wife. Thank you for being strong and transparent through all of this. Thank you for trusting in the Lord. Thank you for your example. I love you and I am here with you on our Amazing Journey.

Thank You Family. Our family has been behind us and our decisions. We had several travel down from Ohio and Tennessee this past week to be here. We have received, gifts, cards, meals, etc.. Thank you for your love and prayers.

Thank You Faith Family. Vision Baptist Church has been there for us. Many have been in prayer and praying for us. They have treated us as family. They visited us in the hospital, willing to do anything we asked, prepared meals for us, helped with the laundry, sent flowers, etc. Pastor Gardner did the graveside service. Everyone was just willing to serve. I can truly say, when a member of the body hurts, the whole body hurts.

Thank You Friends. We have had so many friends, acquaintances, and people that we don’t really know…write us on facebook, twitter, email, blog etc. encouraging us. Thank you for the cards, flowers, advice, etc.

Thank You Churches. Since we have been traveling on deputation for the past year and a half we have been in dozens of churches. I was surprised to see flowers at the graveside service from some of our supporting churches and churches that don’t support us yet! We have received emails, cards, gifts, offerings, and many prayers have been offered up on our behalf because of these churches. Thank you for caring!

Thank You Midwife, Doctors, Nurses, and Staff. Our Midwife was so encouraging during this time. She was a blessing in disguise. Thank you Doctors, Nurses, and Staff for all that you do and have done for us.

I know I have probably left someone out, or something someone did for us, but just know that we are thankful for it. It might not come to mind right now, but any act of love and service towards our family was and is appreciated! Thank You.

Update on our Baby 5-27-10

Our Baby

Today, May 27th, 2010 at 6:35 A.M., our little baby boy was stillborn.

He weighed 3 lbs and 2 oz. and was 11 inches long.

His name is Wesley Allen Wei.

The diagnosis of the baby was correct and there was not anything the doctor’s could do.

My Wife

We could not have asked for a better delivery, my wife is healthy.

She was in the hospital less than 48 hours when she gave birth.

The baby was born head first, with everything intact, and very quickly (with no trauma to my wife).

She is recovering now and we plan on going home tomorrow morning.

Funeral

We are having a private graveside service Saturday morning at 10:00 A.M.

Fo those who would like to send flowers, you can send them to:

Ingram Funeral Home
210 Ingram Avenue
Cumming, GA 30040-2418

Thank You

Thank you for your continued prayers and support, we have been encouraged with love and support from all of you.

Thank you to our Lord! May He continue to receive the maximum glory.

Update on our Baby 5-26-10

We checked into the hospital yesterday morning.

We had a good day of preparation yesterday.

My wife will have three doses of medicine today (started at 4 AM this morning and will receive the other doses at 8 and 12.)

We should be having a baby today (most likely this afternoon.)

Both of our parents traveled in safely yesterday.

We have had many visitors from our church family.

My wife is in good spirits and about to have breakfast. She is in a little pain from the IV.

God has been faithful and good to us, just like He always is.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Thanks for your continued prayers.

Update on our Baby 5-24-10

After our appointment today, we had to make one change in our plans. We will now be going to the hospital in the morning around 9 AM. my wife’s body is ready to start the inducing process.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Also, many have showed concern and had questions about the baby’s condition and treatment. We have not only had a diagnosis from our midwife but also a fetal specialist; both agreed on the condition and treatment of the baby, in which we have peace and are leaving in the Lord’s hands.

(Note: We are receiving many emails, notes on facebook, etc., in which we are grateful for, yet we are not able to write everyone back right away.)

Update on our Baby 5-19-10

With less than a week left before we go to the hospital, our little Baby is moving a lot (according to my wife). Of course, when she tried to show me the baby stopped moving. But she is absorbing every second of it.

Yesterday, we had a Doctor’s appointment to check on my wife and the baby. Everything is the same. Next week we will be going in to deliver the baby, so we ask for your prayers. On Monday, we have our final appointment with the Midwife to discuss everything that will be taking place. On Tuesday (25th) evening/night my wife will be admitted in the Hospital to start the induction process. Then, we wait. It could take 2-3 days before my wife has our baby (but the good news is at 34 weeks she is already dilating). After the baby is born, she will stay in the hospital for at least 24 hours.

Please keep my wife (for her health) and the baby (that the Lord’s will would be done) in your prayers. There are several factors and risks that come into play when delivering the baby because of it’s condition. Pray for wisdom in making the right decisions.

If the diagnosis of the baby is right and he/she passes away, we will have a private funeral, mainly for family only, shortly after my wife is released from the Hospital.

For those who wish to visit, we will be receiving visitors during our stay at the hospital.

Emory Johns Creek Hospital
6325 Hospital Parkway
Johns Creek, GA 30097
(678) 474-7000

Thank You!

Created for Eternity!

It is interesting how God sends encouragement along the way. Our host family this past week in Ashtabula, OH (which is 12 hours from home) has experienced loosing children, similar to what we are going through. My wife was able to talk with the wife who understands what she is going through to a degree and had a common bond.

The husband was gone all week to TN, but called this evening to encourage us with some of the things God showed him during their trying time. He encourage us with scripture and shared some practical advice on making memories with the baby.

One thing he said that really got me thinking was, he always asked God why He let the baby live just for a few minutes. After doing some research and reading Ephesians 1 he realized that the baby wasn’t created to live for a few minutes but that is was created to live for eternity.

That is powerful if you think about it. I may never get to meet our little one or maybe I will for a few seconds or minutes, but no matter what it will live for eternity.

I think to many times in a box. But our life is just a vapor. It isn’t about this life here and now anyway. It is about eternity with Him, that is what we were created for!

Update on our Baby 4-9-10

We had another doctor’s appointment yesterday. There was little change in the news. The baby has stopped growing and the heart beat is still very slow compared to what it should be (meaning it is not developing right). The ultrasound showed no improvements. My wife is scheduled to be induced and give labor to the baby on May 26th, as long as it does not pass before then.

Also, we made arrangements with the funeral home, who offered us their services for free, and purchased an infant burial plot at the cemetery.

Thank you for your continued prayers during this time. The Lord truly has given grace and peace during this time.